Women-struate

Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome headquarters, Monday, 21 October, 2019

From the NPR article

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“If you have had a period, worried about a missed period or one that came when unexected, there should be no doubt that you are a woman.”

Dr. Nuckols, Executive Director of the Women’s Bioethics Center for Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome (AROWS) made this statement at a press conference today.

As your reporter was the only media representative in attendance, Nuckols suggested that I sit with her as she kicked off her low healed pumps, donned a pair of fuzzy slippers she pulled out of a large totebag, and put her swollen feet up on a chair

Fanning herself with the notebook she whipped from my hand, the flushed E.D. wiped tears – or possibly persperation – from her cheek and said that her organization was formed to increase the visibility of peri-AROWSal women in bioethics:

AROWS has attempted to increase awareness about the silencing of women of a certain age and our challenges. Little did we know when we began our work how relevant our voice would become just a few short years. Its not just pre-, post- and AROWS-al women who are being silenced, anymore.

This past week, NPR, National PUBLIC Radio, made a distinction between “women and people who menstruate!”

“Women” are disappearing in public discourse and out of a fear of offending the trans community.

As evidence, Nuckols produced a screenshot from of a Tweet by Eric Weinstein and the article published at WBUR, which spoke of “people” who menstruate. The article has since been edited, without notation, to read “women and people.”

Edited wording

“Even our symbols are being erased from public view, with decisions like that to remove the female emblem from packaging of period products by the Always Brand.

More and more “people” are claiming the identity and functions that were once considered female. Others deny that they are female altogether. AROWS wishes to support the struggles of our intersex and trans sisters, even when they are encouraged to use the estrogen we are denied. Surely there’s plenty of the hormone to go around.

However, we must object when such appropriation is at the expense of our opportunities and very identity.

In light of these injustices, we are hoping to see the adoption of the term, “women-struation” to replace the obviously inacurrate term, “menstuation.”

Men don’t have periods. Period.

If you have ever had a period, worried about a missed period or had to deal with one that came when unexected, there should be no doubt that you are a woman.

That’s as ridiculous and unscientific as claiming that someone who has given birth is a father.

Refusing to comment on this last statement or the ongoing controversy about transgender athletes, Dr. Nuckols returned my notebook, replaced her fuzzy slippers with her pumps, and carried her large bag out of the conference room.

The printing on the side of the bag read, “AROWS – Taking our place in the big tote bag of Bioethics.”

HT to Twitter users Eric Weinstein and Bergereau de Cynerac

AROWS Ignore Women’s Watch

slippersShocked that no one from AROWS was allowed to be a partner of the Women’s March on Washington, DC the Executive Director of AROWS, the Women’s Bioethics Center for Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome, as she fanned herself with the notebook whipped from the hand of a startled young reporter, exclaimed, “None of the speakers expressed solidarity with or sympathy for peri-AROWS-al women.”

The flushed E.D. wiped a tear (or possibly perspiration) from her face as she expounded on her theme: “We are estrogen deprived by both the aging process and because of so-called best practices medical guidelines, we can’t even bribe our Providers to provide hormone therapy on our high-deductible insurance. We sure can’t less afford the plastic surgery that the celebrities and transgender women invited onto the dais have obviously received. We could look like that, too, if we weren’t forgotten.”

As she marched off in her fuzzy, comfortable slippers, the Doctor was heard to sigh, “We’re your first wives and mothers. We know where your pill bottles are. And what’s in them.”

Satire, not science

It’s all in fun. Satire, sarcasm, spouts of bitchiness, I mean  wit.

Well, we would like our estrogen back. I mean, really… they gave that tennis player estrogen. After a lifetime (over 60 years!) of endogenous testosterone.

(I mean, really! I could look like that if I had enough plastic surgery… )

Posted from WordPress for Android. Typos will be corrected!

AROWS Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome

The Executive Director of the Women’s Bioethics Center for Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome announced the birth of a new Blog today. Fanning herself with the notebook whipped from the hand of a startled young reporter, the flushed E.D. renewed her organization’s pledge to take it’s “rightful place in the big tote bag of bioethics funding and activism.”

While the organization has traditionally been tied up in the study of patterns of acquisition and use of estrogen to control pre-, peri-, and post- AROWSal symptoms, the E.D. stressed that women of a certain age have broad interests in other aspects of bioethics, including enhancement, regenerative medicine, and general health issues.

Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome is the condition of all women who live long enough. It is a shame that this unique stage of our life is called “menopause.”
Peri-AROWS-al women have always supported the practical applications of enhancement therapies, reproductive technologies, and longevity studies and medicine. While we keep a stiff upper lip, it is time that the public eye is opened in order to raise awareness of our contributions that go far beyond the purchase of hormones, aesthetics such as plastic surgery and botox, and pushing the age of childbearing to new limits. We have been the subjects of numerous studies concerning heart disease, osteoporosis, and the treatment of AROWS, itself.
However, we have not been given – we have not demanded – the same attention as a group that has been given to the prolife, prochoice, neocons, and progressives. It is past time for recognition of the considerable bulk of contributions to the field of bioethics.
We’re your first wives and mothers, we know where the pill bottles are hidden!”